Your call is important to us...

"Good morning, engineering... this is Jeff."
"You need to get that windbag idiot Reith off the air."
"Ummmm. I think you have the wrong number."
"No, you just have the wrong people on the air."
"You're calling about Jim Reith's afternoon radio show, right?"
"Well, duh!"
"You need to call WSYR radio. Their number is 472-9797."
"I'm not falling for that -- that's not the number I dialed."
"True — you called the wrong number. This is WSYR-TV."
"I didn't call the wrong number! I tracked you down to your secret office."
"Who exactly do you think I am?"
"You're Jeff Delmonico, right?"
"No. You probably want Joel Delmonico, the radio stations' GM. Call 472-9797."
"He doesn't answer at that number."
"He doesn't here, either. Have a nice day!"

Click.

Don't even get me started about the calls from some sweatshop in Pakistan: "Please mister Jeff I want only short time to renew your free subscription to Connector Specifier magazine which is most invaluable technological resource

Click.

I'm not such a bad person, am I? What did I ever do to deserve this? I try to be nice to people on the phone, and apparently this is the thanks I get. Calls from people who don't like our programming; calls from people who don't understand why they can't receive our digital signal from their camp east of Albany (the local PBS station is on the same channel); calls from people with hot news tips about how space aliens are tapping their phones in preparation for the imminent global invasion. Presumably they are calling from a pay phone so the call won't be traced.

For many years we carried the Phil Donahue show at 4pm. When we picked up Oprah, channel 3 bought Donahue, which they ran opposite Oprah. Several days later an elderly woman called:
"Good afternoon, engineering..."
"I'm having trouble getting Donahue."
"I'm sorry, but we no longer run Donahue — we show Oprah now at 4."
"I know that!"
"Channel 3 carries Donahue."
"I know that!"
"This is channel 9..."
"I know that!"
"Why don't you give channel 3 a call?"
"Their number is busy."

Really, I'm not a bad person... after all, I didn't give her my dad's direct number at channel 3...